Mr Willy Wonka, Substitute Teacher
by pebbles1234
Summary: Mr Willy Wonka is asked to teach 21 little children for a day. How will he do it? With humor of course!
1. A Simple Request

**I do not own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Mr Willy Wonka, Substitute Teacher

Chapter 1

A Simple Request

"Charlie?" "Yes, Mrs Applebaum?" Little Charlie Bucket was sitting in his desk doing his daily math lesson; math was not his favorite subject, but he always tried his best. "May I speak to you when class is over?" "Yes Mam." Several oooh's were heard around the room from immature little children. Charlie bent his head down and continued his lesson.

Three o' clock could not come fast enough. When the bell rang twenty children leapt from their seats and rushed outside, where fresh air and their parents awaited them. All except for Charlie Bucket, who quietly gathered his books and went towards his teacher's desk.

Mrs Applebaum shoved her glasses down her nose, dropped her pen, and looked up at Charlie. "I will not be here tomorrow Charlie." "Oh?" The youngest Bucket could not fathom why she was telling his this. "Well, normally Mr Schaffer arranges for a substitute to come. But I had a different idea."

"Yes Mam?" She took her glasses off and laid them on her overcrowded desk. "I thought that your Mr Wonka could come share his knowledge with your peers." Charlie got a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. Mr Willy Wonka and twenty one children. He was bad enough with five.

"I'm sure your classmates would enjoy it." Mrs Applebaum was no fool. From being an elementary teacher for fifteen years, she knew how to persuade children. "I'm sure they would, but Mr Wonka..." "I'm sure he would be delighted to." "I'm not so sure." Mrs Applebaum got up and put her arm around Charlie's small shoulders.

"You can always ask Charlie." She gently pushed him out of the room as he was trying to protest. "Be sure to thank Mr Wonka for me, I'll see you the day after tomorrow." Charlie sighed as the classroom door was shut practically in his face.

Charlie found a stone and kicked it all the way to the factory. He had no idea how he was going to ask Mr Wonka such a thing. He would never agree, and then they would have to do busy work all day. He kicked the stone harder with each passing thought. By the time he arrived home he was rather upset.

"What's wrong Charlie?" "Nothing Grandpa." Grandpa Joe put a bony finger on Charlie's shoulder. "You can tell me Charlie." "Mrs Applebaum wants me to ask Mr Wonka to teach our class tomorrow." The six Buckets looked at Charlie with wide eyes. "Willy Wonka?" "Yes, mom." Mrs Bucket dropped the spoon she was using to stir the stew.

The awkward silence was interrupted by an outburst from Grandma Georgina."Peanuts!" "No, Grandma, there are no peanuts." She simply smiled a toothless grin as Willy Wonka fell in the door. "Hello Buckets." As he hung his hat up he noticed everyone staring at him. "What?"


	2. No and No

**I do not own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 2

No and No

All the Buckets went back to their work, and pretended not to care about the future conversation. "What is it?" Mr Wonka asked nervously, taking his place at the Bucket table. Charlie Bucket bit his lip and looked at the ground. "What is it Charlie?" Now there was the slightest hint of worry in his voice.

"Well, I was at school today..." "Ick." "What?" "I never understood the whole idea of keeping children captive, it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere. Really, a child can learn a lot more by..." "Mr Wonka?" "Sorry Charlie." Then he laughed at the unintentional joke. Charlie sighed and slumped into the seat across from his benefactor.

"My teacher, Mrs Applebaum.." "The one with the moustache?" Mr Wonka listened with interest whenever Charlie talked about his days. "Yes. She wanted for me to ask you, if you would..." Charlie hesitated, why was he even asking, he knew he would never do it. "If I would do what?"

"Teach our class tomorrow." "And be around a bunch of sweaty, germy, short, little flea infested boogers? Eww, I don't think so." "They're not all boogers." Mrs Bucket piped up from behind her kettle of boiling stew. "Quite right dear, I mean look at Charlie." Mr Bucket said, taking a break from slicing the hard bread.

"And we don't have fleas." "No, Charlie, I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. I will not do it, and you can't make me." "Of course he can't make you Mr Wonka, you're a grown man." Sometimes Willy forgot that. "Right you are Mr Grandpa Joe sir." Mr Wonka flashed his pearly white smile and looked around, "Now, what's for dinner?"

"Beef Stew." Mrs Bucket said putting his bowl in front of him. "And bread." Mr Bucket said, handing him a piece. "Thank you." Willy waited for everyone one else to be served, and then picked up his spoon. He stopped mid way however, when he saw Charlie's downtrodden face. "Why so glum chum?" He laughed at his own horrid mini joke.

"Can't you please come Mr Wonka? It would mean so much to me. Please?" Charlie was not accustomed to begging, but this was a rare and special occasion. "Charlie, stop pestering Mr Wonka." "Sorry dad." Charlie placed one elbow one the table and propped his head in that hand and played with his stew with the other. He was a rather pathetic sight to behold.

"Elbows off the table, Charlie." "Sorry Mom." Willy could not stand to see poor Charlie Bucket being badgered by his parents and seeing him so sad to top it all off. "You'll owe me a week of pure imagination." Charlie's eyes lit up, "You'll do it?" "Yeah." "Oh, thank you Mr Wonka." Willy nodded and picked up his spoon once more.

The thought of teaching little children horrified our famous chocolatier. Would that make him an authority figure? Ew. But young Charlie didn't ask much from him, and well, it could be a good experience. Right? Mr Wonka hoped so as he swallowed a spoonful of his dinner.


	3. Well, here goes nothing

**I do not own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 3

Well, here goes nothing

Willy Wonka went to his room to prepare note cards for tomorrow's adventure. '_The waterfall mixes the chocolate, makes it light, and frothy.' _"That one looks good." He smiled and picked up another note card. _'And one plus one equals two because that's the way those weird math people wanted it to be." _

"Hey! This is easier that I thought!" He giggled and picked up yet another card. _'We use commas children because one of those old English people let their pen drip on their paper and instead of admitting they made a mistake, they called it a comma." _

Then Willy decided to tackle history. _'Christopher Columbus was this gray haired man who went on a boat, much like the one in my factory, and founded the Americas in 2941.' _He figured History deserved at least two. _'During the Civil war Paul McCartney decided to warn the north that the French were coming. So he got on his trusty donkey and shouted, "The Frenchies are coming, the Frenchies are coming."'_

Once he was done with history, he thought he might teach the little ones about Loompa Land. _"Well, you see children, contrary to many grown ups' beliefs, there is a place called Loompa Land. It is infested with Whangdoodles and green caterpillars. Ew. I wouldn't suggest going there.' _

Willy Wonka was very proud of his work and decided to practice his delivery in front of the mirror. "Hello children, collective little boys and girls, I am Mr Willy Wonka, the famous candy maker. I will be your teacher today."

Once he had practiced that several times he decided to go to bed to be fully rested for the morrow.


	4. It Starts with Breakfast

Chapter 4

_First and foremost I would like to apologize for how long this has taken me. Thank you to all my reviewers_, _I can't believe you stuck with it, well here goes nothing, or chapter 4._

Mr Willy Wonka awoke from a very deep sleep and once he got his bearings about him screamed much like a little girl.

Today was the day. The day he would teach little children. "Ew." He looked at his alarm clock and noticed it was early, too early for him to do anything much less be around little girls and boys. But Charlie needed him to, so he would.

He got up and went to his bathroom, decorated just like he liked it, in purple. Once he brushed his teeth with the snoozeberry toothpaste he made, and combed his hair, making sure no silver ones appeared, he went to his closet to pick out his clothes.

He went through the same routine every morning, picking out an outfit as if there were any to choose from. He had all the same clothes, just a lot of them. He finally got his clothes, pin, coat, hat, gloves, and cane and made his way down to the Buckets for breakfast.

"Good Morning Buckets." He said this rather grimly, for he knew his doom was coming soon. "Hello Mr Wonka." All seven said collectively. He took his hat off and sat slowly down to his place at the table.

Willy simply pushed his food around with his fork, he was much too anxious to eat. "Are you all right Mr Wonka?" "Hum?" It took a moment for the chocolatier to realize Charlie was talking to him.

"Oh yes, Charlie, thank you." "The bus will be here in a few moments to pick us up." "You want me to ride around on a bus with a bunch of germy little children? Ew. I don't think so, we will take the glass elevator."

"All right." Charlie wanted his friend to see how his day went on, and the bus was part of it. But he understood that this friend was a complete germaphobic, but that didn't stop him from feeling sad.

Charlie's emotions seemed to be Mr Willy Wonka's weakness. He hated making the Buckets bummed out. "Oh all right. But I will not be touched." Charlie's eyes lit up and he got up to grab his satchel. "We better hurry than, or we'll be late."

The two were standing outside and they made quite a pair. A small boy and a man who had a very peculiar style.

There is was, Charlie smiled and Willy grimaced, a big, yellow monstrosity, that held the promise of stench and germs. "Ready Mr Wonka?" "Ready as I'll ever be Charlie." With those words the boy and the man boarded the bus.


	5. The Candy Maker on the Bus

I do not own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Chapter 5

The Candy Maker on the Bus…

_I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update, a year! Oh my! Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. _

The inside of the bus just looked icky. Mr. Willy Wonka looked at all the children with a look that was mixed with fear and disgust. He muttered, "Eww" under his breath.

Then something unexpected and incredibly frightening happened; All the children in one big motion, trampled towards the front and bombarded Mr. Wonka with one giant hug.

This was enough to cause the germophobe to begin to hyperventilate. "Charlie!"

The youngest Bucket was able to pull his peers away from his benefactor. He then took Mr. Wonka by the hand and they sat down on a vacant bench.

It took Willy all of two seconds to realize what exactly he was sitting on. He jolted up as if something had bit him in the caboose.

All the children laughed in unison. Mr. Wonka gave said children his signature sinister look, and their cackling died instantly.

He then proceeded to make his way to the front of the bus. "Excuse me, Mr. Bus Driver man, I was wondering if you…."

Before our dear Chocolatier could finish his sentence the driver turned around in her seat. Yes her. Upon seeing this less than attractive woman Mr. Wonka made his disgusted face unintentionally. The lady bus driver, unfortunately took this look in a much different context.

"Yes, Mr. Wonka?" She said batting her eyes, for she had no eyelashes.

He thought something might be in her eyes, but he did not care enough to inquire. "Do you have something I could wipe my seat off with? The little children germy seat is not conducive to a sick free atmosphere."

She dug in the breast pocket of her shirt and pulled out a Kleenex. "Here you are, dearie."

"Uh, that's okay."

The Bus Driver shrugged, blew her nose on the Kleenex, and put it back into her pocket and started up the bus.

Willy looked around the bus to find the cleanest looking child.

"You, little girl in the second seat furthest in the back with the white dress, come here."

The little girl with her hair in two long pigtails looked at her neighbor before doing so.

"Yes?"

"Sit next to Charlie there and scoot back and forth on the seat, kay?"

The little girl looked questioningly before doing so.

Once she had done so, Mr. Wonka excused her back to her seat.

Now that his seat was somewhat clean, Mr Willy Wonka sat down and didn't enjoy the rest of the ride.


	6. The School

**I do not own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**

Chapter 6

The School

_I apologize once again for the incredible amount of time it took for me to update. Thanks to all my wonderful and unbelievably faithful readers. I hope you enjoy this chapter. _

Mr. Willy Wonka had to make absolute certain that he was the first one off the big yellow vehicle that gave transportation to twenty children and over a million other living things people don't usually discuss at the dinner table.

When they were standing in front of the brick three story building, the littlest Bucket took his friend's hand and looked up at him with eyes as honest and earnest as a lad could have.

"What do you think Mr. Wonka?"

Mr. Wonka didn't think. He knew. He knew those places were filled with children. They gave sanctuary to little girls like Violet and little boys like Augustus Gloop. He was about to convey his true feelings to his little companion when he looked down and saw his eyes. Mr. Willy Wonka sighed, and lied.

"It's very nice Charlie."

"I think so. I know you will like my friends Mr. Wonka. Are you ready to go in?"

Mr. Wonka gave a perfect fake smile and said, "Lead the way, kay?" He giggled at his rhyme in spite of himself.

Just as they began to walk a little boy, a very little boy, with knobby knees and slicked down black hair that was parted in the middle came up to the pair.

"You're that strange man who lives in the factory and had that contest with the golden tickets. I would have won you know, if I would have tried to win. I don't like candy."

Mr. Willy Wonka could not have the name of all that was good, all that was pure, all that was imagination mixed with excitement mixed with love and hard work, no he could not and would not have the name of Candy defiled in his presence.

"My dear little boy, I am quite sure it is not you that doesn't like candy, I am sure, one hundred percent positively, that it is the Candy who does not like you. It's a well known fact Candy has good taste." He laughed at his very intended pun.

The little boy scrunched up his freckled face before kicking our dear candy-maker quite hard in the shin. Mr. Willy Wonka bent over and grabbed his leg. Little Charlie Bucket covered his ears instinctually.

When Charlie saw his benefactor's lips were no longer moving, he touched him gingerly on the arm. "Are you all right Mr. Wonka?"

Willy was going to ask Charlie if they had a school nurse. He only had to think for a second before he thought better of it. The mere thought of a bunch of little overly germy children congregated in a single space mortified him. And the thought of being in the midst of them made him feel slightly faint. There was an upside, his leg would be his favorite color.

"I'm super de dooper Charlie, let's hit the road Jack, Get on with the mo, Joe."

The boy looked at his friend awkwardly and proceeded into the school house.

Charlie eagerly told Willy about everything they passed. He was shown the water fountain, the water closet, and the water kicker (a very mysterious contraption that, unknown in all of the world and needed nowhere). Then, they stopped.

"This is our classroom." Willy nodded and as he went to open the door, he stopped and curled his fingers into his hand, making a 'squeak' with his purple gloves.

Charlie saw his friend's apprehension and felt he needed to help. Charlie was a good helper. "You will be just fine Mr. Wonka, I'll be with you."

Mr. Willy Wonka nodded and Charlie opened the door.


End file.
